Nobody Knows
by Ash Kaiba
Summary: Part 1 of My Secret Saga. Mokuba Kaiba writes a journal entry on a stormy night, reflecting on his brother's past. I can't leave him. He needs me. Rated for abuse, drugs, and Seto Kaiba's dirty mouth. Where's the soap?


**Nobody Knows**

By Ash Kaiba

**DISCLAIMER!!** Yu-Gi-Oh! is not owned by me.

Welcome to my first one-shot. I enjoy writing Kaiba fics, but I got the idea of doing one for Mokuba. That kid desires something. On to the story.

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This is my first journal entry in a long time. My name is Mokuba Kaiba. I am thirteen years old with raven dark hair and little violet eyes. My real parents have been dead for centuries. (Okay, they've been dead for years.) Gozaburo Kaiba, our stepfather, was a complete jerk. I said "our", did I?

I have a brother. He's turning eighteen this October. His name is Seto Kaiba. Most of the people call him Kaiba. Seto attends Domino High after six years of private tutoring. I go to the middle school a few blocks away.

Seto is a brunette. His eyes remind me of the ocean our summer home looks out to. They become the ocean when his temper flares. My big brother stands at 186 cm. He says that I will grow to be as tall as he. People (and myself) can easily be spotted him by the trench coats he wears. What possesses him to wear them, I will have no clue. But, he seems to like having them. Personally, I like the purple one that he wore to Duelist Kingdom.

Ni-san is a duelist. His deck mostly revolves around dragons, his favorite creature since I can remember. The strongest ones he has is the Blue-Eyes White Dragon. And I mean that he has three copies out of the four ever released. He also has a good fusion card called "XYZ Dragon Cannon." Seto is an excellent duelist. But, his crown was taken by Yugi Mutou. Since his first defeat, Seto has been chasing for a way to defeat him. When he heard of the God Cards and received "Obelisk the Tormentor," he started the Battle City tournament to draw out and win the other two. At the finals, he faced off against Yugi, who came to hold "Slifer the Sky Dragon." The gods clashed and they fought with their favorite monsters, "Blue-Eyes" verses "Dark Magican." Yugi won with help from his new fusion, "Dark Paladin." Seto still hungers to face him.

That is the face the public sees. That look of determination, the constant CEO plotting his next revenge. That is what Yugi and his friends see. But, they are wrong. The media. Yugi and his friends. They only see his mask. But, I have seen the face under the mask. The true face of my brother, Seto Kaiba.

The mask was first created when Gozaburo decided to accept him as his heir. At first, we were adopted so Seto could make Noah, our stepbrother, do better. Then, he was killed. Gozaburo was planning to use Seto's body as Noah's new body. But, he decided to train my brother instead.

While Seto was doing his lessons, Gozaburo supervised him. If Seto didn't please him, he would pull my brother into his room. For awhile, I didn't know what was going on in there. All I cared about was that Gozaburo was pampering me. When Gozaburo was on TV, I was with him. That was alarming to me. Every single time, it was me and Gozaburo. Never was Seto seen on the scene unless the media caught Gozaburo going to work with him. And that was all. So I got curious.

I began to explore the manor, finding every passage I could find. I found one that leads me to the 'lecture room', or Seto would so call it whenever we had a chance to see each other. That one was used so I could spy on Seto. The others weren't that important. But, one night, I will never forget.

The weather was terrible that night. I couldn't sleep. So, I decided to check out the one passage that led to our stepfather's room. The dark hallway surrounded me as I slid one of the base board panels out of the way. My body slips in and I closed it behind me. For awhile, I crawled in darkness. Until I spotted the light of a lamp and I crawled to it. I found myself looking into Gozaburo's room through his mirror. His two oil lamps flickered their light into the dark. I found my stepfather on his bed…with Seto under him.

Seto was crying and screaming. His arms were held down by…that monster. His legs were tied to the bedposts. I could see my brother sniff as Gozaburo snapped at him. Each time he came in, Seto screamed. That only made our stepfather furious. So, he grabbed a beer bottle. I thought he was going to smash it on Seto's head, kinda like what they do in the movies. But, Seto was forced to drink it. One bottle silenced my brother. His eyes were foggy as his mouth hung open. Gozaburo was able to do what he pleased. Seto, to him, became a doll, a play thing.

I know Seto was raped more than once. But, since that night, Gozaburo got him drunk so Seto couldn't cry out. I knew when Seto was invaded, a lot better than him. Whenever I couldn't find him in his room, Seto was with Gozaburo. And every time, in the morning, my brother was very sluggish and confused. He kept holding his head like he was suffering from a headache.

Seto wasn't only raped, but also beaten. He likes to pretend that I don't know. Yet, it was obvious with the repeating cuts and bruises. His self-esteem also decreased. He learned his language from our stepfather. Gozaburo claimed Seto was pathetic, worthless, a waste of human genes, and more. So, Seto tried to prove him wrong, which sparked more verbal abuse from the monster. Over time, Seto was Gozaburo. But, that is way ahead.

A few times, I snuck into Seto's room. I remember him sitting at his desk with a book in front of him. A leather dog collar wrapped itself around my brother's deathly pale neck. Small chain links held him there. His right index finger played with the wooden pencil. A pad of notebook paper rested under his arm.

"Seto," I called out to him.

Seto turned to see me behind him. His once bright blue eyes were now dull and lifeless. He looked like he hadn't eaten in few days. His tongue licked his lips. Tiny cracks on his lips were revealed. So, I dug out a couple pieces of bread from dinner. I saw his eyes gleam at the sight. In response, I held them out to him. Seto snatched them from my hands and began to shove the pieces into his mouth. Once in awhile, he choked and I panicked. But, he was able to swallow. He would smirk. But, he started to hardly touch me.

One day, Seto snuck out of the manor. Gozaburo was furious. He sent all his security staff to find him. And when they did, my brother was different. Seto refused to set a foot inside the manor because he joined a gang. The white outfit I grew so accustomed to seeing was gone. Seto was dressed in black. He allowed one of the members to tie a bandana around his head. A cigarette was in between his middle and index finger. Liquor was in his left. He carried a knife on his belt. Gozaburo's temper flared even more when one survivor told him where Seto was and all the details above. Our stepfather went out to get him and dragged my brother back.

"Let go of me, you son of a bitch!"

Gozaburo ignored Seto's foul language. He dragged my brother to a prison cell in the basement. I followed behind them, praying for my brother's safety. In the first cell, Seto was strapped to a table. A restraint held his head in place. I watched Gozaburo position a pitcher above Seto's head. He did something and water dripped onto Seto's bare forehead. All the while, Seto cussed him out.

"Remember this then, boy," our stepfather hissed, "You'll be screaming within this week."

"Yeah right, old man."

So, Gozaburo left him there. No one dared to go down and feed him, not even me. But, I went down occasionally to watch over him. For two days, Seto didn't scream. I started to wonder if he was going to prove Gozaburo wrong. Three days passed and not a sound escaped his lips. On the sixth, Gozaburo was right. Seto's screams and wails echoed throughout the manor. By Gozaburo's order, no one went down to comfort him. After dinner, Gozaburo disappeared into the basement. I followed him like a puppy and watched with horror shining in my eyes.

I watched him whip Seto to the point that his back was bleeding. Seto called out to him, pleading him to stop.

"Please, I won't do it again. Please stop. I'll do anything!"

So, Gozaburo held him up to that promise. He led my brother to another cell and shoved him in. The heavy door closed in front of Seto. We stood outside the cell, listening to Seto scream even more. I looked up to Gozaburo, pleading to let Seto out. But, he ignored me and my brother's pleas. So, I followed him up the stairs. I felt sorry for Seto.

"Mokuba…That brother of yours rebelled against me. He has to learn not to and what to do to crush any revolt against him."

So, Seto was down there for a month. His screams were rarely heard in the manor. For awhile, I forgot he was even there. When Seto did emerge from the basement, his clothes were in ruins. Dirt clung to his skin. His hair was untidy and longer. The scabbed back foretold his scars. Gozaburo sent him up to the bathroom to bathe. Without a word, Seto obeyed.

Seto started to wear the white outfit again because the black ones were burned. I watched him continue his studying as if nothing happened. He bought 51 of a company and forced them to buy it back at price higher than what he bought it for. That made Gozaburo proud. After a few days, Seto cornered me in the hallway and yelled at him. I remember that he punched and kicked me.

"You rat! You're telling him, aren't you? You'll pay, Mokuba! I'll make you pay!"

At the time, I had no idea what he was talking about. When he finally stormed away, I rose to my feet and dashed for Gozaburo. The next day, we went to Kaiba Corp. and found Seto in the board room. Behind him were Gansley, Crump, Johnson, Nezbitt, and Leichter (the Big Five).

"Think you can have the company, boy." Gozaburo sneered. "I STILL OWN FIFTY-ONE PERCENT! I WIN, SETO. YOU GET TO GO BACK TO THAT ORPHANAGE IN WHICH YOU CAME!"

"No!"

I ran to Seto, seeing the surprised look on his face. "I give my two percent to Seto. He's my brother and worked hard for this."

Gozaburo was shocked. Instead of saying anything, he committed suicide. I thought things would brighten up. But, they didn't. I learned Seto was an alcoholic and addict. He was hardly seen without a cigarette or bottle. Seto tried a lot of drugs. At the moment, I didn't know why. I finally got him to go to a doctor. He didn't come home. A home nurse did.

On Tuesday afternoon, I was taken to the rehab center. In one of the many rooms, I found Seto restrained to a bed. When he looked up, his eyes were hazy. But, he recognized me.

"Hey, kiddo. Come here."

And I did. To make eye contact, I had to stand on a chair. Seto looked like he was pain. It made me feel worse. I hate seeing him suffer. Seto ran his fingers through my hair, repeating over and over that I need to get it cut. He seemed to be lost. When he asked how my day went, I answered, but he asked the same question again.

Finally, his doctor came in. And I saw a new side to my brother. His eyes hardened on the poor man. Then, he snapped. Seto could have jumped him if it weren't for the restraints. He was cussing, hissing…acting more like an animal. I tried to move away from him before he'd break out. But, he beat me. My head turned to the side. I thought Seto would laugh out of enjoyment, but it was the opposite.

Seto was horrified. So scared that the nurses had no trouble restraining him again. And he kept repeating, "What have I done? I killed him…"

The nurses each took turns trying to tell him that I was okay. But, Seto's state worsened.

"Talk to him, Mokuba." The doctor urged me.

So I did. And Seto's mood lifted a bit. To make him feel better, I crawled onto his lap. I let him touch me, play with my hair, everything he could do. His head drooped and I thought he was angry again. Instead, Seto wrapped his arms around me as best as he could…and cried.

For hours, he cried. And if I tried to move, he wailed, begging me not to leave him in the cell. I didn't understand. And the doctor had him drugged.

"Your brother is bi-polar. The two extremes you saw earlier are as far as he demonstrated. It appears his depressed side believes in events that have past."

"What can I do?"

"Get rid of all the drugs and liquor."

So, I went back home. And the first thing I did was pour all the vodka, whiskey, rum… All the alcohol I could find down the drain. I dug into his stash of drugs and found cigarettes, heroine, and other nasty stuff. The nurse disposed of them. The next day, I got a call saying that Seto was coming home. That evening, he did.

He was still disoriented. On his upper left arm was a clear patch, in which I later learned that it was a nicotine patch. One of the first things he did was looking for a bottle to drink. I watched him spend hours looking. When he called it quits, I was able to direct him to the table to eat. I had the cooks make his favorite meal, shrimp and streak with mashed potatoes and green beans. Seto ate a little, about a fourth of everything. I guess it will take time for him to eat a full meal.

In his stash, I hid pretzels and other healthy foods that he could get hooked on. At first, Seto didn't touch it. After a few days, half his pretzels were gone. My brother monitored every situation, knowing that too much stress could trigger his condition.

For awhile, everything was normal. Seto ran the company and took care of me. It was my job to look out for him. Whenever he gets sick, Seto tries to keep doing whatever our stepfather taught him. A lot of the times, he ended up in the hospital. I believed that getting him to rest was going to our biggest problem.

If you tell Seto to go to bed, he will fight hard not to. Seto rarely slept. And when he did, he cursed and yelled. In the morning, he denies it. Just recently, one of our bodyguards' wives moved out, took the kids, and sold the apartment. Roland had no place to go, so I let him stay here. And now, he is an important part of our lives.

On his first night here, Roland heard my brother screaming and thought the manor was haunted. He was going to tell Seto, but learned that it was him. I ran to Seto's room and found it empty. I checked the living room and found them in the rocking chair I had a hard time jumping into. Seto trembled in Roland's lap as the bodyguard started to look like a nanny. When Roland got tired, he'd take Seto back up to his room and head to his own room. Sometimes, Seto couldn't get rocked to sleep. So, he'd come to me. I figure that someone with him comforts him. It's like what I heard him yelling at Gozaburo. "Why do you think I do what you want to do? I want you to love me! That is all I want!"

And that love… He gets it from me.

I know Seto says that he has to take care of me. I need him, which is true. But, he needs me more. I can't leave manor when I go college or get married. (Even though we finally did find a prescription for his bi-polar disorder.) Seto can't function without me. If I'm not there, one of his episodes could happen. Or he becomes suicidal. Or goes back to drinking and doing drugs. I can't leave him…not until he's ready.

-Mokuba Kaiba

The young teen flipped the pages, pleased that he captured what made his brother the way he is. A knock sounded on his door. A flashlight peered in as another crack of thunder echoed in the sky. Behind the metallic rod was his brother.

"Mokuba… Roland's…"

"He's picking up your prescription. It's okay."

Seto walked over to him and took the small body in his arms. Mokuba felt him seeking the warmth of his neck. Lightning flashed and Seto appeared to a ghost. The boy hushed his older brother.

"Come on. You can lay down with me."

Seto took him to the queen size bed and set the boy down. Mokuba crawled around as his older brother nestled down in the soft sheets. The young Kaiba grinned as he inched closer to the older teen's chest. The brunette's heavy eyes latched as his breath tickled Mokuba's hair. _I forgot to put in that Seto is afraid of blood. I'll write the haircut incident later. He needs me here._ He smiled as sleep claimed him.

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Thanks so much for reading. Please review! Maybe I will get some inspiration to write a sequel... I don't know yet. But, I must finish some other chapters. Fans of Save Me and Murderous Perfection, FORGIVE ME FOR BEING SO SLOW!


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